The senses are yours to compose a world of beauty with the might of your mind.
Contents
. repose . recoil . rigour . resplendence
Rigour
to care
to be thorough
to attend to with great detail
EVERYONE ELSES CONCERN
Mood swing me baby
as he bounced me on his knee
giggling with cabbage-patch-loving glee
a world of gems, can you honestly, tell me
we're much different from them
the selves with raw honest feeling
the winters aren't even as cold
evident in lack of piles of snow
yet, I go out in search of cement pavements
a stoop to quiver under, unsure runs about my spine
and I just blankly stare
longing for lethargic heat
I travel to gaze upon
my bathtubs bronze feet
to get a foamy soak in the deepest melancholic mope
finding myself tempted by imagination
shall we call this a salt tub an ocean too?
while I fantasise beneath crystalline white bubbles
a slumber yelled by liberal banter
through socialism, indoctrination takes the lead
threaded by duct-tape to seal down
a trap door, we all know can be found
in those history book shelves
beneath wrinkled adhesives
favoured by the few
who decided to take pleasure
in that which is rarely
appreciated.
MACHINE
how long can this last non-conformist mould I make dangling beats dancing
with no rhythm this season makes night-time day
sunlight just creates a headache
oh boy you bet I’ve got some spirit left
and dreams they cannot any longer wait
I revel in awe I wonder what signs my body begins to make
tune into a dial tone and pause
for we all want someone to love and uphold
such desires are proclaimed to unfold
while we let it all go and tears fly, punches fall
and upon my next rise
I hope the isolated version forces some form of exhaustion from a hunger feigned by the pain gained
when productivity hits its highest
then machine talks back
in lack of sleep.
TALK TO ME
You're a pretty cool kid
that's what she said
as we shivered under
the bent green cast house-light.
I kept my cup of tea
near to the place
reserved for romantic feeling
as her voice poured
into the pores of my skin
and I let it soak all in.
we spoke of childhood pastimes
and upbringing ideals
making and validating
what I commit
faith in being real.
practical stranger sharing
evening time with me-
no distractions.
honesty-laid on the table
as it's popularly spoken of-
I found comfort in
not even had trying.
DOCUMENTATION
Witnessing the smoke drawing in dancing winds spun swirling tender tendrils around poorly painted fingernails
which led us to here where an indoctrination of promises
for days to be different led me to somehow wonder
in which ways should life bend beyond the reference
to vehicle identification or other bureaucratic proceedings
as if our bodies were another car next in line.
what queer signs survive before me
a plasticine compare and contrast game
of who is what to whom
continually forecasting unforeseen shifted dreams
repetitiously doesn’t make obvious advances
in the phoniness of promises of retreats...
the signals said just stop
put to bed that which is bathed in mystery
life is already the perfection of poetry
and beams we can traverse upon to let
struggles be stepping stones
for a heart knows it’s never alone
and warmed by internal chain reactions
triggered from some form of free-falling spiral staircase
dares no one to climb or fall yet resign to gazes in awe
such a turbinate shape, assured of itself
an axis in which time really goes nowhere.
WISHING WELL
A warm breeze dollied up a spring
some only stumble upon to drink
with secret suicide lips stealing
stories of cynically corrupt human beings
a something not quite fleeting
of a pigmented dream residing
inside stiff stories traveling
filled by tumbling leaf forces
instead of dissolving a wall built
of pellucid lies drawing trickling drips
such poisons promising understanding
closer to humanity
while finding a looser grasp
in a well fitting suit repellant of
people while dragging my body about
the air grew thicker still
passerby’s paid little mind
yet mentioned
the sounds were a bit smoother
yet needed more to soothe
such a bubbling well
of a source run awry
mountain air grow dry
threatened by
pouring rain begging clouds
to do their part in a way
to spout tranquility
such remnants of wishes
reflect upon polluted pools
for all to see.
PINCUSHION
Just a jab
another shiny
pointed pin
resilient by the soft pad
flowering
within a promise
of power for your spirit within
a solid base as to
never tip to any side
perfect to keep around
paying no mind to what
keeps the captivating
exterior intact
as this necessity is
easily forgotten
if not around
there would be no place
for sharp objects to be held
in the temporary seams
the fusion for the pins
would unfold and spill out
the softness we sought
to contain.
A DANGEROUS LANE
Riding behind a driver I would never trust
I’m watching cars pass by transfixed I try to be found
a refuge in rotating hubcaps while imagining the sounds
of other vehicular conversations to escape my disdain
for choosing this position in the backseat hearing
the blinker switch clicking at the hand of a slender creature
feigning to be my boyfriend’s friend
I remain washed by the fresh shower scent
and glance over at my friend checking
cellular phone messages while finishing a smoke
My legs comfortably tucked, angled to my right
adjacent to my love’s pleasant calm side
I find some way to enjoy our here and now
of some bizarre family of friends version of a story
and while notating this situation down
I sense my heart groggily growing
slowly more open
despite my fear and dread
of the drivers’ propensity for distraction
immersed in the sensory experience
and the colour palette around
I tune into receive an echo for my ache for comfort
from the best he could muster was “like woah”
and that was enough input I needed from his lips
to smile and think
yeah, it’s exactly like this.
© Mari Amman. All Rights Reserved.
Poetry, Prose &Suche VOL III.
First edition 2023, electronic distribution. Text and Images by Mari Amman.
The poems contained within this volume were drafted circa 2006-2009, in Chicago, USA, and edited during spring 2023 in Paris, France, with the enormous support of The Trélex Residency.
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