Kindness as cruelty

“It could be worse.”

Phrases like this may mean well and prove to be slippery slopes. Meant often in kindness prove to be not very kind, in parallel to the way Self-Help books are psychospiritual, as well as social-economic traps.

Things could be worse, and they can usually also be better. The way things are looked at has a bit to do with where one is situated in life. This makes writing about kindness or cruelty difficult unless there are specific examples.

Due to this, I have increasingly been drawn to find ways to make Le Lapin a safe burrow for dialogue instead of the format of sending out pieces of my website with the thinking process behind the work. Though recently finding use of this email for sharing the results of 14 years of writing, rewritten and formatted over 2 months into 4 books of poetry and photography in Paris…amidst the riots. I came to Substack because I did not want to make a Patreon to create more middle-men taking cuts of the budgets people are already feeling tapped out by the relentless streaming services. I no longer saw it sensible to share hard work on social media, where the general decline of valuation or appreciation for culture making seems most evident.

In that some addictions will drive people to spend whatever it takes, energy or money to get that need filled, social media has proven to appear more masochistic than I had realized at the onset of its use.

I understand I need to accept the dark side of human psychology. Yet I want to ensure I’m contributing ethically and with care to the freedom to choose instead of manipulating the collective subconscious motors driving behaviours found in positivethinking only rhetoric or self-help pretzel logic. The deep tug on a real need for the conscious awareness and reconciliation of those forces makes me realize a dialogue could be fruitful yet who really wants or needs ANOTHER podcast. Would the fact my strange set of weirdnesses and female voice be enough difference from the typical setup I find out there in so called conscious-broadcasting space? or is all this talking avoiding the labor that needs to be done ;)

Social psychology, yet another dark dynamic I dipped my toes further into while studying in Japan became a plunge right into the deep end during art school. While I had considered becoming a psychologist, under the influence of self-help books, I imagined art making would be more illuminating, helpful, and positive. Instead, I ended up getting the education in dark psychology anyway.

So before I hop off the weekly posts here to tend to some new burrows, I wonder if anyone else has noticed how it seems like more people are on drugs. I did not want to be crass or rude. As it turns out, more people are on drugs. That is not to condemn or shame people for their life choices, but rather recognise the challenges in communication created by folks under the influence, and the results this is collectively creating. So while I’ve heard many attest to remembering their wholeness, more commonly referred to as healing these days through drug usage, I’m really not sold on the behavior. Since, as far as I can tell, life is an endless process of making and remaking….so where does that situate the usages of substances with the perception of reality? These questions send me on long walks often, as I tend to see patterns from the past resurfacing. While I very much want to give trust to the higher organizing nature of the cosmos, experience has led me to understand power and responsibility is within each of our hands.

Since there are elements of universality in pain, as Elaine Scarry wrote in depth about in The Body in Pain, The Making and Unmaking of the World, there is this more statistical model in the GSK report here: https://www.gsk.com/media/6351/2020-global-plain-index-report.pdf

Pain is something people clearly seem to be interested in reducing. And yet, are the people promising the reduction of suffering actually delivering that? or are they finding ways to serve the endless void some seem to have for power, dominance, and influence? This article, allegedly from 1987, describes the human suffering index: https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/wellness/1987/03/17/a-measurement-of-human-suffering/19aee44f-b460-4c8d-9aa3-4c55fbb74a30/

And as made clear here, on this link, global suffering is on the rise, despite the plenty.

Instead of pointing fingers at class, governments, forming cults or new religions, I still wonder if it is too much to ask we realise we have enough space to not agree, and we do not have to force each other to perform behaviours we do not wish to do, or be punished for not following each others’ commands. Which is why I want to share this Podcast my dear friend DiLos sent me the other day:

#13 Thom Knoles - Vedic Perspective on Trauma, Identity, Forgiveness, Karma: From Trauma To Triumph with Wade Robson & James Safechuck

So while people still believe they’re creating imaginary realities from within, reality is a confluence of choices and actions. (Reality is what exists regardless of what we think about it). As it has become clearer what is going on, Le Lapin has to sustain, such as a note carried over by holding a pedal in piano, doesn’t mean it’s over, but that the keys need a rest while other elements are practiced, so that when this melody resumes, the resonance is in alignment for the mission to reduce suffering and increase serene beauty, harmony, and quiet joy. For example this album coming out in August has sounds within it that bring me close to the origin of where my work comes from. I hope you will enjoy it: https://mariamman.net/all-in-twilight/

There is a lot more I had written. I learned Substack has a word count while writing this. But I realize everyone is pressed by time, attention, resources, and so I think I’ll leave things about what is actually kind or what is fake-kind with some advice from my Mom. When I prompted her for guidance, she said to ask myself in situations:

What Good Comes of This?

I often wonder why more people are not up front with their intentions and interests. I have no problem in letting people know I’ve worked really hard to be able to be allowed to make a living, and it is still an everyday labor. Every field comes with its challenges, and there are different challenges for every walk of life.

So even though anything good can become weaponised because we are relational beings: kindness or silence for example, which are usually great, can be cheese in a mouse trap. I have met ultra nice people who turned out to be some of the worst, and some less kind people who turned out to be some the best. These are not matters of taste, but rather matters of pricinples and virtues. So while as awful as the burning in Paris was, it was bewildering and inspiring to see an unwillingness to take comforts and look the other way. I, on the other hand, being of the constitution I am, still tend to prefer the side of a mountain or someplace near the sea where I can enjoy the white noise reminding me of eternity.

This writing and none on this site were generated by A.I. I have wilfully saved your mind from 4,721 words 28,225 characters.

And yes…that is meant to be funny-ish. If you get my drift. I have seen things, but not because I took substances; instead because I made pictures. How I see things has been hard to say how, because regardless of identifying features, the only thing I know I am working to be diligently for are things that were once quite common and are rarer in the gamified reality peoples seem to be playing in. Do you also enjoy playing in what was here before we were? There seems to be a lot for us there.

Walking agains the flow of water proved to be more challenging that it seemed to be.

Somehow analogue film turned out to be more forgiving than my digital camera.

Snowtrek recorded on film accidentally exposed during development.

And if you made it this far, please let me know if you would like to see more of my early photographs or the subjects that interest you most. I’m also offering the poetry books as PDF email or downloads if you do not want to subscribe to Le Lapin. Simply email me at mariammanart@icloud.com and I’ll send you my PayPal info and email you the PDFs right back.