for that which people deem trite or cliché
allow me to tell you this isn’t my first poem
and for those who deem freely formed verse
or spoken word absurd
then be sure to steer around Chicago’s Green Mill
permitting peaceful warriors backup band and
the reciprocal space of witness I felt 13 years ago
and may be yesterday’s excuse for
denying my truth
and so if you allow me to
I want to share in earnest with you
this morning’s thoughts on life
because I did not get handed lemons, I bought them
I drank the juice and used the flesh to do the dishes
prone, as a result of taking bad advice, I have a bit of it to give here:
take a walk under the clouds
pretend you’re in Paris
imagine the photograph at the onset of this post was made there
even though I assure you it wasn’t
remember why a blanketed sky proves more romantic than sun
that is if you want to have a view of what you love
instead of being blinded
having inadvertently torn corneas
I would not advise having to adapt
to not having what you once had
so while I reach into yesterday’s sunshine memory
of which I am not complaining
because my bones loved every minute of soaking in light
instead of shivering to generate heat
the euphoria of pedestrians moving around as Monet brushstrokes
still warned me summer waits patiently
so while spring taunts
buy cheap flowers because expensive ones die too
and you’ll have the spare change for cheese
later on the extra energy to grow a garden
if you so choose
and own the privilege of giving flowers away
so that was some of what I told my friend today
when I asked if he wanted to know how I choose friends
he didn’t care to find out really
as so often is the case
but I told him anyway:
dooers and lovers are for me
not because I love Sartre this decade and may not the next
but because I noticed the people who are busy cooperating with life
getting on with what they can do rarely dare haunt me
those who come back regretting, as if they all read the same script
retrospectively noticing a sincere foolhardy diligence to pursue the truth
and telling it to the best of my ability
saw their inverted saga for what it always was
because for worse aimed at getting better
I am what I am, and do as I say I’ll do
unless life changes course
life made sure to teach me to never fight with it
so words are not nearly hot air alone, I suggest we keep our cool
I used to keep records and notes, but I know I’m telling the truth
so I don’t have to keep track to stay on track
which is perhaps the way of grace
that’s more than ok
because grace bestowed her compassion
many times I felt undeserving and seeking
yet grace doesn’t always delight as tulips do
but wedges space into closed logic loops
so instead of going on again, instead of being bossy
I’ll tell you what I do and see how it fits for you
I donate money I don’t have to donate
yet if I have some then I have some to give
making less for me but others have some too
and we all can make more or less out of a little
resources are responsibilities
we don’t have to save the world
careful of those pretending to
demystifying life enough
made figuring out how to blend paint colours readied
to create routes with greater clarity in their course
an orientation less shy of the most desired direction
I thought could be easy enough
until I met those who love to make shade
to ensure that which could grow, would rot
so their roots and vision could proclaim
popularity as best instead of letting all the rest
feed their roots too
as life cycles through seasons of rebirth and growth
in digesting the consequences of creating
now with more caution
to not bite into lies people believe about themselves
the lies perpetuating hell
and that’s the tell
who I make friends with or not
those who are doing the work and not tipping the boat
content with keeping their hands to themselves
or having and extra set to hold be more than enough
not feigning but overflowing
contented trust maintaining and going, growing
not punching holes in hulls while I’m busy bailing out water
such futility knows only its own sorrows
now this part I do not advise
yet having jumped from those types of ships
though worn out I became a good swimmer
for having been so afraid of water
there were docks that became doors
opening to even a stranger such as me
exploring where open doors lead has been terrifying
yet not in the least I continue imagining a we-
as some say the other is a part of ourselves already
creating an orbit generating a home, which for me requires a specificity
I do make demands and not leave my day up to fate or prophets
for oh whatever god is
what else can earth be here for
but learning how to create more life
from the bounty of what is given to grow.
First time for everything